








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 538 matches | ||
| Faceit | 189 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6754 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12327 | 36% |
| Smokes | 9374 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 9937 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2980 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,665,799 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pancakes | 54% | 408 |
| #2 | Th0mps0n | 54% | 61 |
| #3 | wheres my rabbit ? | 54% | 100 |
| #4 | Onslaught | 54% | 369 |
| #5 | ping | 54% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | BaseMent HaXx | 52% | 256 |
| #7 | Davey | 50% | 376 |
| #8 | scrapp-eee | 49% | 525 |
| #9 | monK | 49% | 397 |
| #10 | .yp | 49% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monK | 19 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Onslaught | 18 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | scrapp-eee | 11 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Pancakes | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Davey | 5 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scrapp-eee | 1436 | 0.13 | 42 min |
| #2 | Onslaught | 1415 | 0.18 | 41 min |
| #3 | Davey | 1117 | 0.14 | 32 min |
| #4 | monK | 856 | 0.10 | 24 min |
| #5 | BaseMent HaXx | 468 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onslaught | +1.16 | 68 | 74 |
| #2 | OuchyW | +0.84 | 37 | 77 |
| #3 | Pancakes | +0.63 | 46 | 68 |
| #4 | scrapp-eee | +0.61 | 44 | 74 |
| #5 | Th0mps0n | +0.45 | 65 | 63 |





