








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 894 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Faceit | 107 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2798 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,121 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7750 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2611 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 6328 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4432 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $923,115 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 443 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | BaseMent HaXx | 50% | 153 |
| #6 | Pancakes | 50% | 208 |
| #7 | OuchyW | 50% | 376 |
| #8 | monK | 48% | 240 |
| #9 | scrapp-eee | 47% | 339 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monK | 18 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | scrapp-eee | 9 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Onslaught | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | OuchyW | 6 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Pancakes | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scrapp-eee | 868 | 0.12 | 27 min |
| #2 | Onslaught | 827 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #3 | OuchyW | 819 | 0.10 | 25 min |
| #4 | monK | 485 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #5 | BaseMent HaXx | 288 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onslaught | +1.35 | 66 | 73 |
| #2 | OuchyW | +1.13 | 36 | 78 |
| #3 | Pancakes | +0.85 | 48 | 68 |
| #4 | scrapp-eee | +0.65 | 46 | 74 |
| #5 | Th0mps0n | +0.40 | 65 | 59 |





