








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 656 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 491 matches | ||
| Faceit | 108 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4859 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5489 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6868 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4572 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4101 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,049,434 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pancakes | 50% | 157 |
| #2 | BPeeps | 49% | 73 |
| #3 | OuchyW | 49% | 397 |
| #4 | ThorTheDane | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | CMD Keen | 48% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | scrapp-eee | 46% | 369 |
| #10 | wheres my rabbit ? | 45% | 55 |
| #11 | .yp | 40% | 43 |
| #12 | ping | 38% | 40 |
| #13 | Th0mps0n | 36% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onslaught | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | scrapp-eee | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | OuchyW | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Th0mps0n | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | .yp | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onslaught | 1136 | 0.18 | 33 min |
| #2 | scrapp-eee | 1001 | 0.13 | 30 min |
| #3 | OuchyW | 858 | 0.10 | 26 min |
| #4 | Davey | 758 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #5 | .yp | 271 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onslaught | +1.04 | 68 | 74 |
| #2 | OuchyW | +0.92 | 38 | 76 |
| #3 | scrapp-eee | +0.71 | 44 | 73 |
| #4 | BPeeps | +0.66 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | ThorTheDane | +0.49 | 66 | 63 |





