








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Wingman | 124 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4084 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,144 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8452 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7139 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8446 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5107 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,786,913 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .yp | 59% | 69 |
| #2 | Davey | 58% | 57 |
| #3 | OuchyW | 54% | 100 |
| #4 | Pancakes | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | Shareware | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onslaught | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | .yp | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | monK | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Pancakes | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | OuchyW | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onslaught | 530 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | .yp | 393 | 0.30 | 10 min |
| #3 | Tipsi | 243 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #4 | OuchyW | 201 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | scrapp-eee | 201 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .yp | +2.64 | 76 | 67 |
| #2 | Onslaught | +1.67 | 67 | 73 |
| #3 | Pancakes | +0.92 | 47 | 70 |
| #4 | scrapp-eee | +0.89 | 42 | 75 |
| #5 | OuchyW | +0.86 | 33 | 77 |





