








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 681 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Faceit | 149 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3310 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3217 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4309 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5333 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2806 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,245,789 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Th0mps0n | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | .yp | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | Onslaught | 61% | 152 |
| #4 | OuchyW | 54% | 408 |
| #5 | wheres my rabbit ? | 52% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | wheres my rabbit ? | 52% | 50 |
| #6 | BaseMent HaXx | 51% | 269 |
| #7 | Davey | 50% | 208 |
| #8 | monK | 50% | 157 |
| #9 | scrapp-eee | 48% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OuchyW | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | scrapp-eee | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | monK | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | BaseMent HaXx | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Davey | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OuchyW | 941 | 0.11 | 28 min |
| #2 | scrapp-eee | 628 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #3 | Davey | 556 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #4 | Onslaught | 533 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #5 | BaseMent HaXx | 492 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onslaught | +1.40 | 70 | 77 |
| #2 | Th0mps0n | +1.25 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | OuchyW | +0.80 | 39 | 77 |
| #4 | Pancakes | +0.60 | 46 | 68 |
| #5 | scrapp-eee | +0.53 | 45 | 74 |





