








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 152 matches | ||
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




104 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,896 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3253 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2283 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3117 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1243 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $829,004 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tibs | 71% | 31 |
| #2 | Stuart | 62% | 45 |
| #3 | sly_albz | 60% | 70 |
| #4 | Donk | 48% | 227 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tibs | 71% | 31 |
| #2 | Stuart | 62% | 45 |
| #3 | sly_albz | 60% | 70 |
| #4 | Donk | 48% | 227 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donk | 94 | 0.0207 |
| #2 | sly_albz | 9 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Stuart | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donk | 914 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | sly_albz | 302 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | Stuart | 171 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | tibs | 133 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tibs | +4.54 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | sly_albz | +1.67 | 67 | 66 |
| #3 | $lim | +1.47 | 55 | 67 |
| #4 | Donk | +0.31 | 63 | 61 |
| #5 | Stuart | -0.40 | 67 | 62 |





