








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,773 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1319 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1371 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 280 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 803 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $149,276 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 135 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grogシ | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | tibs | 73% | 33 |
| #3 | $lim | 62% | 45 |
| #4 | sly_albz | 58% | 60 |
| #5 | Donk | 56% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $lim | 9 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | sly_albz | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Donk | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Ecoloe | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sly_albz | 226 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Donk | 190 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | $lim | 120 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | tibs | 109 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ecoloe | 23 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grogシ | +5.81 | 73 | 53 |
| #2 | tibs | +3.68 | 76 | 67 |
| #3 | sly_albz | +2.04 | 64 | 62 |
| #4 | $lim | +0.67 | 52 | 66 |
| #5 | Stuart | -0.10 | 73 | 60 |





