








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,558 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 925 | 36% |
| Smokes | 645 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 436 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 552 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $229,497 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I Test My Crack | 78% | 32 |
| #2 | redman | 65% | 34 |
| #3 | Phoenix | 63% | 38 |
| #4 | ☁️Loud Pack Logan (always hi | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | swagmaster | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoenix | 7 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | redman | 7 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | I Test My Crack | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | SuperCats | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | swagmaster | 1 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuperCats | 199 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | redman | 155 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | Phoenix | 125 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | pZk | 78 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | I Test My Crack | 71 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swagmaster | +5.54 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | Phoenix | +3.79 | 66 | 74 |
| #3 | redman | +3.75 | 95 | 76 |
| #4 | I Test My Crack | +2.34 | 88 | 67 |
| #5 | ☁️Loud Pack Logan (always hi | +1.84 | 77 | 56 |





