








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 246 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1960 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1310 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1134 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1385 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $736,796 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 482 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phunter | 78% | 32 |
| #2 | swagmaster | 76% | 21 |
| #3 | Phoenix | 71% | 87 |
| #4 | SuperCats | 64% | 121 |
| #5 | redman | 62% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoenix | 27 | 0.0159 |
| #2 | SPiT RoaST Da BiTCH | 16 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | redman | 14 | 0.0119 |
| #4 | pZk | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | ☁️Loud Pack Logan (always hi | 8 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuperCats | 536 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #2 | Phoenix | 407 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #3 | redman | 346 | 0.30 | 8 min |
| #4 | pZk | 325 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | ☁️Loud Pack Logan (always hi | 254 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swagmaster | +5.64 | 87 | 67 |
| #2 | Phoenix | +2.93 | 62 | 74 |
| #3 | I Test My Crack | +1.99 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | SuperCats | +1.88 | 66 | 70 |
| #5 | redman | +1.61 | 91 | 73 |





