








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1237 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,385 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 521 | 22% |
| Smokes | 778 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 614 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 472 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $631,395 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dublette | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Balutschi | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | qolambo | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | RehMitWarnweste | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | Juicy_L | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | salkiN | 50% | 50 |
| #7 | TaranTimo | 49% | 53 |
| #8 | MAYOR_23 | 48% | 21 |
| #9 | Potti | 46% | 67 |
| #10 | Mathmos85 | 46% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mathmos85 | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Potti | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | TaranTimo | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | RehMitWarnweste | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Balutschi | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mathmos85 | 232 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Potti | 65 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | TaranTimo | 61 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | RehMitWarnweste | 60 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | MAYOR_23 | 48 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juicy_L | +1.15 | 88 | 65 |
| #2 | salkiN | +1.13 | 78 | 46 |
| #3 | megamasi | +1.00 | 79 | 53 |
| #4 | Potti | +0.96 | 78 | 58 |
| #5 | RehMitWarnweste | +0.70 | 48 | 66 |





