








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1646 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,737 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1995 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2296 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 837 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 609 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $599,995 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dublette | 81% | 16 |
| #2 | Juicy_L | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | RehMitWarnweste | 49% | 41 |
| #4 | Potti | 47% | 132 |
| #5 | MAYOR_23 | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | megamasi | 46% | 98 |
| #7 | qolambo | 44% | 43 |
| #8 | TaranTimo | 42% | 89 |
| #9 | Balutschi | 40% | 15 |
| #10 | salkiN | 40% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Potti | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | megamasi | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | salkiN | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | TaranTimo | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | RehMitWarnweste | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAYOR_23 | 115 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Potti | 107 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | salkiN | 94 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | RehMitWarnweste | 91 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | TaranTimo | 85 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juicy_L | +2.55 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | Potti | +1.62 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | qolambo | +1.11 | 57 | 59 |
| #4 | megamasi | +0.94 | 79 | 54 |
| #5 | RehMitWarnweste | +0.70 | 44 | 72 |





