








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 328 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2583 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1198 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1470 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1582 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1266 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $805,073 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klebermeister | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | qolambo | 53% | 62 |
| #3 | MAYOR_23 | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | salkiN | 48% | 119 |
| #5 | RehMitWarnweste | 47% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Mathmos85 | 47% | 132 |
| #7 | megamasi | 46% | 67 |
| #8 | Juicy_L | 44% | 32 |
| #9 | TaranTimo | 42% | 118 |
| #10 | Balutschi | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RehMitWarnweste | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Juicy_L | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Mathmos85 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | megamasi | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Balutschi | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mathmos85 | 276 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | RehMitWarnweste | 223 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | MAYOR_23 | 128 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | TaranTimo | 116 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | salkiN | 107 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Potti | +1.22 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | megamasi | +0.95 | 79 | 58 |
| #3 | RehMitWarnweste | +0.90 | 44 | 70 |
| #4 | salkiN | +0.83 | 83 | 49 |
| #5 | qolambo | +0.68 | 62 | 56 |





