








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 478 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,670 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8810 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6662 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6282 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6916 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,229,435 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2056 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twitch.tv/tvorbital | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | CHri$ | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | HolyMuro | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | FataL | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Heros5k | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twitch.tv/tvorbital | 580 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | HolyMuro | 405 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | se0rFPS | 312 | 0.38 | 9 min |
| #4 | FataL | 293 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #5 | CHri$ | 252 | 0.19 | 6 min |





