








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 634 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5088 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3083 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2387 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2791 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $416,309 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ambi | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | pan1c | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | knoxville | 62% | 37 |
| #4 | rico | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | miles. | 49% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | CHri$ | 48% | 159 |
| #7 | wohlstandskind | 47% | 17 |
| #8 | twitch.tv/tvorbital | 46% | 177 |
| #9 | MRVNNN | 40% | 53 |
| #10 | FataL | 39% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHri$ | 20 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | twitch.tv/tvorbital | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | FataL | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | MRVNNN | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | miles. | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twitch.tv/tvorbital | 715 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | CHri$ | 552 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | FataL | 327 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #4 | miles. | 168 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | knoxville | 147 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pan1c | +3.67 | 76 | 70 |
| #2 | Ambi | +1.96 | 67 | 77 |
| #3 | FataL | +1.87 | 88 | 63 |
| #4 | knoxville | +1.73 | 68 | 75 |
| #5 | se0rFPS | +1.21 | 76 | 75 |





