








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 865 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 429 matches | ||
| Esplay | 24 matches | 1,565 | |
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4601 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 915 | 6% |
| Smokes | 3855 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4567 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4997 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,825,453 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRRAPAPAPPA | 19 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Marco | 13 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Von Pertan | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Solvit | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | pwnfish | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRRAPAPAPPA | 314 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Marco | 300 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | Habit º | 289 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Aelg | 257 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | Von Pertan | 210 | 0.03 | 5 min |





