








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 992 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Faceit | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 1,764 | |
| Competitive Edin | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5986 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4758 | 16% |
| Smokes | 6993 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8698 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 8642 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,029,055 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 987 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | John McClane | 46% | 112 |
| #9 | Tatti_ÜberRankaisija | 42% | 43 |
| #10 | frosty | 41% | 220 |
| #11 | Dufed | 40% | 200 |
| #12 | Mikz | 38% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frosty | 23 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Mikz | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Dufed | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | RoX | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | membu | 5 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dufed | 1053 | 0.25 | 32 min |
| #2 | Mikz | 1014 | 0.31 | 33 min |
| #3 | frosty | 878 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #4 | John McClane | 639 | 0.27 | 18 min |
| #5 | kippo^ ez.org | 295 | 0.23 | 9 min |





