








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1477 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Esplay | 22 matches | 1,987 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4242 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,429 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6979 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7653 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4539 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5258 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,943,675 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 439 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erra | 53% | 36 |
| #2 | Nani | 51% | 49 |
| #3 | minttukossu | 48% | 33 |
| #4 | 16bit smokehero | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | membu | 46% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Helsu | 40% | 200 |
| #11 | Mikz | 39% | 243 |
| #12 | Rake | 36% | 42 |
| #13 | tomp | 27% | 26 |
| #14 | ReVe | 26% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frosty | 29 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Mikz | 14 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Tatti_ÜberRankaisija | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Helsu | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | ReVe | 4 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikz | 1552 | 0.30 | 49 min |
| #2 | frosty | 1169 | 0.20 | 36 min |
| #3 | Helsu | 301 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #4 | Tatti_ÜberRankaisija | 287 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | prodigious | 282 | 0.22 | 8 min |





