








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 979 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Esplay | 25 matches | 1,954 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 150 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3127 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,016 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5570 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2983 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3597 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2866 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,560,678 of utility $320 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 481 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sukka | 53% | 38 |
| #2 | Nebu | 50% | 38 |
| #3 | tryffis | 46% | 37 |
| #4 | ReiQ | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | Rake | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frosty | 20 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Dufed | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Tatti_ÜberRankaisija | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Helsu | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | ReVe | 4 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dufed | 1295 | 0.25 | 40 min |
| #2 | frosty | 981 | 0.20 | 30 min |
| #3 | tryffis | 276 | 0.34 | 7 min |
| #4 | Rake | 222 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #5 | Helsu | 219 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | membu | +4.06 | 73 | 74 |
| #2 | Sukka | +1.82 | 77 | 75 |
| #3 | frosty | +1.23 | 53 | 78 |
| #4 | Dufed | +0.81 | 33 | 69 |
| #5 | Rake | +0.46 | 66 | 63 |





