








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2718 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 579 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 304 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 285 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 232 matches | ||
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Esplay | 7 matches | 1,850 | |
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 449 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




101 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14625 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 71,561 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12355 | 17% |
| Smokes | 18112 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 22130 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 18964 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $8,707,442 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Sollaar | 80% | 904 |
| #6 | kras | 80% | 315 |
| #7 | Jona | 78% | 387 |
| #8 | kippo^ ez.org | 77% | 1894 |
| #9 | AnttuS | 76% | 949 |





