








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 375 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5340 | 37% |
| Smokes | 4979 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 529 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 3489 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $781,583 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lange Luke Logan | 59% | 59 |
| #2 | cACAYA | 54% | 79 |
| #3 | Hansen | 52% | 209 |
| #4 | kung fu kenny | 52% | 126 |
| #5 | weetdolphin | 51% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Dyno Paps | 48% | 92 |
| #14 | Each | 47% | 68 |
| #15 | Viggo | 47% | 30 |
| #16 | Simplez! | 38% | 26 |
| #17 | giftig | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Umulig | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Hansen | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #3 | kung fu kenny | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Dyno Paps | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Zubash | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaZz | +3.35 | 66 | 69 |
| #2 | giftig | +1.63 | 57 | 68 |
| #3 | kung fu kenny | +1.59 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | weetdolphin | +1.17 | 67 | 74 |
| #5 | JAKSULLY | +1.08 | 69 | 74 |





