










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1055 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,764 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 458 | 12% |
| Smokes | 549 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1278 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1479 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $709,093 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Αʀ | 52% | 42 |
| #2 | Vad | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | ☆ DME | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | RELiNQUiSH | 48% | 67 |
| #5 | House | 47% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ШidзSщiиg| MixolydianMatty | 43% | 148 |
| #9 | Rocka | 42% | 99 |
| #10 | J Dog | 37% | 35 |
| #11 | MajinLu | 36% | 22 |
| #12 | ☠CLIT Eastwood☠ | 34% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ШidзSщiиg| MixolydianMatty | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | House | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | RELiNQUiSH | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Lars | 4 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | Rocka | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ШidзSщiиg| MixolydianMatty | 181 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | Rocka | 117 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | RELiNQUiSH | 99 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Αʀ | 68 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | ☠CLIT Eastwood☠ | 56 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RELiNQUiSH | +4.48 | 77 | 68 |
| #2 | House | +3.15 | 69 | 53 |
| #3 | Tough Spudder | +2.07 | 76 | 37 |
| #4 | Vad | +1.13 | 55 | 71 |
| #5 | ШidзSщiиg| MixolydianMatty | +0.91 | 25 | 59 |





