








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 442 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 174 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4600 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,995 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 382 | 5% |
| Smokes | 2450 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2397 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2766 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,189,223 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vad | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | J Dog | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | Αʀ | 52% | 144 |
| #4 | RELiNQUiSH | 52% | 163 |
| #5 | House | 51% | 205 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Rocka | 51% | 75 |
| #7 | ШidзSщiиg| MixolydianMatty | 50% | 447 |
| #8 | MajinLu | 45% | 62 |
| #9 | MajorMatt | 43% | 136 |
| #10 | ☠CLIT Eastwood☠ | 41% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ШidзSщiиg| MixolydianMatty | 16 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | ☠CLIT Eastwood☠ | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | RELiNQUiSH | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | House | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Rocka | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ШidзSщiиg| MixolydianMatty | 459 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #2 | RELiNQUiSH | 244 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | Αʀ | 209 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | ☠CLIT Eastwood☠ | 130 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Rocka | 87 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RELiNQUiSH | +2.84 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | House | +1.42 | 64 | 53 |
| #3 | Tough Spudder | +1.24 | 72 | 35 |
| #4 | Αʀ | +0.26 | 63 | 67 |
| #5 | Vad | +0.12 | 56 | 69 |





