








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 138 matches | ||
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,578 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1781 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1560 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2802 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1435 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $208,441 of utility $27 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rocka | 50% | 58 |
| #2 | Αʀ | 49% | 75 |
| #3 | ☆ DME | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | RELiNQUiSH | 41% | 56 |
| #5 | Tough Spudder | 41% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | RELiNQUiSH | 41% | 56 |
| #5 | Tough Spudder | 41% | 117 |
| #6 | ШidзSщiиg| MixolydianMatty | 41% | 236 |
| #7 | House | 39% | 114 |
| #8 | MajorMatt | 34% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ШidзSщiиg| MixolydianMatty | 22 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | House | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | RELiNQUiSH | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Αʀ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Rocka | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ШidзSщiиg| MixolydianMatty | 313 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #2 | Αʀ | 138 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | RELiNQUiSH | 89 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Rocka | 64 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | House | 40 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RELiNQUiSH | +3.71 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | ☆ DME | +2.19 | 61 | 48 |
| #3 | House | +1.88 | 63 | 51 |
| #4 | Tough Spudder | +1.82 | 75 | 34 |
| #5 | Αʀ | +1.75 | 71 | 67 |





