








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 455 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3939 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,388 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 827 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2364 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4223 | 50% |
| Molotovs | 974 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $611,821 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordan ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 86% | 21 |
| #2 | Vad | 57% | 74 |
| #3 | Αʀ | 54% | 128 |
| #4 | Tough Spudder | 51% | 205 |
| #5 | ☆ DME | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | RELiNQUiSH | 49% | 134 |
| #9 | Rocka | 49% | 70 |
| #10 | MajorMatt | 47% | 99 |
| #11 | MajinLu | 42% | 31 |
| #12 | ☠CLIT Eastwood☠ | 39% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ШidзSщiиg| MixolydianMatty | 14 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | ☠CLIT Eastwood☠ | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | RELiNQUiSH | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Αʀ | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Vad | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ШidзSщiиg| MixolydianMatty | 282 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #2 | RELiNQUiSH | 192 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Αʀ | 168 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | ☠CLIT Eastwood☠ | 92 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Vad | 65 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordan ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +2.88 | 74 | 58 |
| #2 | RELiNQUiSH | +2.47 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | House | +1.96 | 66 | 51 |
| #4 | Tough Spudder | +1.51 | 75 | 37 |
| #5 | ☆ DME | +1.03 | 60 | 48 |





