








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 524 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 719 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,992 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7529 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7255 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7061 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 7147 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,901,755 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 304 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EIK3000 | 57% | 129 |
| #2 | hijo | 55% | 55 |
| #3 | Mandalorian | 54% | 59 |
| #4 | tico | 54% | 63 |
| #5 | tuN1 | 54% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Tim | 51% | 290 |
| #12 | Samyyy ツ | 50% | 187 |
| #13 | THE PROFESSOR 8{ | 50% | 66 |
| #14 | BRTMX | 50% | 163 |
| #15 | extra | 47% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | inff. | 5 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | tuN1 | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Tim | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | n1Ls | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | WHEELCHAIR WILLY | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuN1 | 2008 | 0.42 | 48 min |
| #2 | inff. | 1816 | 0.16 | 48 min |
| #3 | YokozowneR | 1155 | 0.25 | 30 min |
| #4 | WHEELCHAIR WILLY | 754 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #5 | n1Ls | 726 | 0.27 | 20 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tico | +2.87 | 91 | 64 |
| #2 | tuN1 | +1.57 | 74 | 69 |
| #3 | n1Ls | +1.27 | 82 | 80 |
| #4 | THE PROFESSOR 8{ | +1.21 | 72 | 75 |
| #5 | epix | +1.15 | 73 | 68 |





