








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1819 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 843 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 170 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13283 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 48,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19915 | 41% |
| Smokes | 12239 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 10277 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6469 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,182,096 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 691 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | tico | 54% | 216 |
| #16 | Samyyy ツ | 53% | 403 |
| #17 | THE PROFESSOR 8{ | 53% | 185 |
| #18 | inff. | 53% | 205 |
| #19 | Hansinator | 51% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samyyy ツ | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | tico | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | epix | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | inff. | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | BRTMX | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samyyy ツ | 1486 | 0.17 | 41 min |
| #2 | tico | 1282 | 0.27 | 31 min |
| #3 | THE PROFESSOR 8{ | 1043 | 0.26 | 34 min |
| #4 | BRTMX | 939 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #5 | epix | 749 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tico | +2.01 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | tuN1 | +1.77 | 75 | 69 |
| #3 | Koray | +1.15 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | BRTMX | +1.06 | 79 | 66 |
| #5 | THE PROFESSOR 8{ | +1.03 | 72 | 77 |





