








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 315 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 275 matches | ||
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6600 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6345 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3489 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4896 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,186,082 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EIK3000 | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | tico | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | Calimero | 59% | 54 |
| #4 | GoLD | 59% | 29 |
| #5 | tuN1 | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | the^dr4g0n^sl4y3r^0f^d00m | 51% | 97 |
| #16 | xCite | 50% | 50 |
| #17 | xeniken | 47% | 43 |
| #18 | n1Ls | 46% | 50 |
| #19 | hijo | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | epix | 823 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #2 | inff. | 746 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #3 | kirby | 589 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| #4 | WHEELCHAIR WILLY | 360 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | Tim | 357 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuN1 | +2.37 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | EIK3000 | +2.37 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | Samyyy ツ | +2.19 | 77 | 75 |
| #4 | tico | +1.87 | 87 | 69 |
| #5 | n1Ls | +1.59 | 81 | 80 |





