








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 300 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,743 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2604 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2572 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3843 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2724 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,262,514 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 235 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EIK3000 | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | n1Ls | 53% | 70 |
| #3 | Tim | 53% | 201 |
| #4 | inff. | 52% | 303 |
| #5 | epix | 52% | 302 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | epix | 52% | 302 |
| #6 | YokozowneR | 52% | 153 |
| #7 | Mandalorian | 51% | 47 |
| #8 | hijo | 51% | 51 |
| #9 | BRTMX | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | epix | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | inff. | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Tim | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | n1Ls | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | epix | 1259 | 0.19 | 34 min |
| #2 | inff. | 1117 | 0.17 | 31 min |
| #3 | YokozowneR | 853 | 0.26 | 22 min |
| #4 | Tim | 498 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | n1Ls | 441 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EIK3000 | +3.11 | 80 | 72 |
| #2 | epix | +1.48 | 70 | 69 |
| #3 | n1Ls | +1.22 | 85 | 81 |
| #4 | BRTMX | +1.03 | 81 | 58 |
| #5 | YokozowneR | +0.33 | 71 | 77 |





