








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 472 matches | ||
| Wingman | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,392 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6310 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6086 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5821 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3175 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,106,743 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brandgefahr | 54% | 361 |
| #2 | SmashZip | 54% | 114 |
| #3 | ✪︎ R3D5TAR | 52% | 52 |
| #4 | iNk 웃 | 49% | 76 |
| #5 | Ekki*FFP* | 48% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ✪︎ R3D5TAR | 52% | 52 |
| #4 | iNk 웃 | 49% | 76 |
| #5 | Ekki*FFP* | 48% | 153 |
| #6 | Bärenkatapult | 46% | 67 |
| #7 | hilti⭕⃤. | 42% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brandgefahr | 18 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Bärenkatapult | 9 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Ekki*FFP* | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | SmashZip | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | ✪︎ R3D5TAR | 6 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brandgefahr | 572 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #2 | Ekki*FFP* | 398 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | SmashZip | 386 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | hilti⭕⃤. | 227 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | iNk 웃 | 194 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmashZip | +2.24 | 69 | 71 |
| #2 | Brandgefahr | +0.68 | 58 | 59 |
| #3 | hilti⭕⃤. | +0.68 | 82 | 75 |
| #4 | ✪︎ R3D5TAR | +0.36 | 83 | 69 |
| #5 | J. | +0.10 | 67 | 70 |





