








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 564 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 359 matches | ||
| Wingman | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4796 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3763 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3613 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5097 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3366 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,633,067 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 359 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J. | 54% | 361 |
| #2 | SmashZip | 51% | 91 |
| #3 | iNk 웃 | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | Ekki*FFP* | 49% | 121 |
| #5 | ✪︎ R3D5TAR | 48% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ekki*FFP* | 49% | 121 |
| #5 | ✪︎ R3D5TAR | 48% | 61 |
| #6 | Bärenkatapult | 40% | 47 |
| #7 | hilti⭕⃤. | 39% | 33 |
| #8 | AdLong | 30% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J. | 30 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Ekki*FFP* | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Bärenkatapult | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | ✪︎ R3D5TAR | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | SmashZip | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J. | 867 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #2 | SmashZip | 312 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Ekki*FFP* | 289 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | ✪︎ R3D5TAR | 164 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | iNk 웃 | 116 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmashZip | +1.91 | 70 | 71 |
| #2 | Brandgefahr | +0.93 | 59 | 60 |
| #3 | ✪︎ R3D5TAR | +0.24 | 83 | 62 |
| #4 | J. | +0.07 | 68 | 70 |
| #5 | hilti⭕⃤. | -0.24 | 81 | 73 |





