








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 328 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 537 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5993 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,048 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6719 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3548 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5426 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3355 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,553,592 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 526 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daty96 | 64% | 47 |
| #2 | Brandgefahr | 49% | 121 |
| #3 | J. | 48% | 153 |
| #4 | cactusbereldeng|KeenDoheem | 48% | 96 |
| #5 | SmashZip | 47% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Eder | 45% | 44 |
| #9 | giga pleb | 45% | 38 |
| #10 | Jago | 45% | 137 |
| #11 | hilti⭕⃤. | 44% | 198 |
| #12 | DeJang | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iNk 웃 | 14 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | ✪︎ R3D5TAR | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | SmashZip | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | hilti⭕⃤. | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Jago | 5 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iNk 웃 | 913 | 0.12 | 27 min |
| #2 | ✪︎ R3D5TAR | 797 | 0.12 | 22 min |
| #3 | SmashZip | 694 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #4 | hilti⭕⃤. | 627 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #5 | J. | 380 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daty96 | +2.75 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | SmashZip | +2.29 | 71 | 73 |
| #3 | hilti⭕⃤. | +1.50 | 86 | 74 |
| #4 | ✪︎ R3D5TAR | +1.14 | 84 | 68 |
| #5 | Brandgefahr | +0.97 | 60 | 61 |





