








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 321 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,320 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4136 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3443 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2780 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2961 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $697,112 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cactusbereldeng|KeenDoheem | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | daty96 | 61% | 41 |
| #3 | Dyego Fuego | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | Jago | 51% | 68 |
| #5 | SmashZip | 49% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ekki*FFP* | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | iNk 웃 | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Jago | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ✪︎ R3D5TAR | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | SmashZip | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ekki*FFP* | 539 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | iNk 웃 | 452 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | ✪︎ R3D5TAR | 309 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | SmashZip | 201 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | J. | 184 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hilti⭕⃤. | +1.58 | 87 | 75 |
| #2 | SmashZip | +1.57 | 65 | 73 |
| #3 | ✪︎ R3D5TAR | +0.85 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | daty96 | +0.73 | 68 | 69 |
| #5 | Brandgefahr | +0.11 | 56 | 63 |





