








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3897 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,333 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3796 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3990 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3146 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3401 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $929,390 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ferraripeekツ Pxel420 | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | giga pleb | 61% | 69 |
| #3 | Cirinex | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | iNk 웃 | 54% | 110 |
| #5 | J. | 54% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Brandgefahr | 51% | 91 |
| #8 | cactusbereldeng|KeenDoheem | 49% | 41 |
| #9 | hilti⭕⃤. | 48% | 60 |
| #10 | Ekki*FFP* | 47% | 196 |
| #11 | Jago | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ekki*FFP* | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | ✪︎ R3D5TAR | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | ferraripeekツ Pxel420 | 4 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | J. | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | iNk 웃 | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ekki*FFP* | 545 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | ✪︎ R3D5TAR | 325 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | J. | 309 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | iNk 웃 | 283 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | hilti⭕⃤. | 201 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmashZip | +3.03 | 72 | 72 |
| #2 | ferraripeekツ Pxel420 | +2.84 | 63 | 64 |
| #3 | ✪︎ R3D5TAR | +1.17 | 85 | 68 |
| #4 | hilti⭕⃤. | +1.00 | 83 | 74 |
| #5 | Brandgefahr | +0.41 | 56 | 59 |





