








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 794 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 530 matches | ||
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5894 | 19% |
| Smokes | 9496 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 7148 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 8009 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,998,727 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 203 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain-Frisk | 64% | 80 |
| #2 | Mort^ | 63% | 52 |
| #3 | Noddy :)) | 63% | 73 |
| #4 | SkuM | 63% | 51 |
| #5 | WizDoms95 | 58% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | jamojnsut | 50% | 101 |
| #17 | EpzoL^ q(^.*)p | 49% | 77 |
| #18 | Dante | 48% | 58 |
| #19 | FirKløver | 48% | 83 |
| #20 | Juncker | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $hitkid | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | EpzoL^ q(^.*)p | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Noddy :)) | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Captain-Frisk | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | KG | 3 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juncker | +3.65 | 88 | 71 |
| #2 | Noddy :)) | +2.38 | 88 | 72 |
| #3 | KG | +2.28 | 85 | 79 |
| #4 | $hitkid | +1.86 | 66 | 78 |
| #5 | GuggI | +1.75 | 81 | 69 |





