








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 248 | 15% |
| Smokes | 204 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 827 | 49% |
| Molotovs | 416 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $77,853 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | x10 | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | Drako | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | ZyLeX | 49% | 37 |
| #4 | mesmer | 47% | 59 |
| #5 | DommyBoBomby | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | mesmer | 47% | 59 |
| #5 | DommyBoBomby | 42% | 31 |
| #6 | notenti | 41% | 100 |
| #7 | Hooligan | 30% | 10 |
| #8 | rcat | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notenti | 16 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | mesmer | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | x10 | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Hooligan | 1 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mesmer | 239 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | notenti | 97 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | x10 | 54 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | DommyBoBomby | 37 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hooligan | 36 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mesmer | +7.33 | 92 | 77 |
| #2 | x10 | +3.06 | 91 | 66 |
| #3 | Drako | +0.59 | 87 | 43 |
| #4 | notenti | -0.49 | 62 | 50 |
| #5 | rcat | -1.20 | 84 | 21 |





