








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 791 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5136 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,537 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3799 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2384 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3444 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1910 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,362,965 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notenti | 58% | 62 |
| #2 | ABunchOfLetters | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | Hooligan | 56% | 41 |
| #4 | Drako | 56% | 342 |
| #5 | mesmer | 53% | 475 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | mesmer | 53% | 475 |
| #6 | ZyLeX | 45% | 217 |
| #7 | Rambo | 44% | 178 |
| #8 | DommyBoBomby | 38% | 32 |
| #9 | Jones | 25% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mesmer | 17 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Drako | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | ZyLeX | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | notenti | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Rambo | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mesmer | 2606 | 0.28 | 77 min |
| #2 | Drako | 336 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | Rambo | 187 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | Hooligan | 149 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | ZyLeX | 138 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mesmer | +5.25 | 92 | 78 |
| #2 | x10 | +1.97 | 88 | 65 |
| #3 | Drako | -0.04 | 80 | 45 |
| #4 | Hooligan | -2.52 | 36 | 63 |
| #5 | notenti | -3.06 | 59 | 42 |





