








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 507 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2075 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,676 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2131 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1208 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3143 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 1194 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,201,547 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rcat | 48% | 157 |
| #2 | Hooligan | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | notenti | 42% | 66 |
| #4 | Drako | 42% | 57 |
| #5 | ABunchOfLetters | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ABunchOfLetters | 42% | 31 |
| #6 | x10 | 38% | 32 |
| #7 | mesmer | 35% | 86 |
| #8 | Rambo | 29% | 17 |
| #9 | ZyLeX | 28% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notenti | 9 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | rcat | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Drako | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | ABunchOfLetters | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Hooligan | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mesmer | 472 | 0.27 | 15 min |
| #2 | rcat | 362 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | notenti | 78 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hooligan | 78 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | Drako | 66 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mesmer | +7.41 | 93 | 78 |
| #2 | x10 | +2.51 | 88 | 64 |
| #3 | Drako | +1.65 | 78 | 49 |
| #4 | notenti | +0.69 | 65 | 57 |
| #5 | rcat | +0.06 | 70 | 33 |





