








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 779 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,343 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2505 | 13% |
| Smokes | 6686 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 5830 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4322 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,498,196 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notenti | 59% | 64 |
| #2 | x10 | 56% | 342 |
| #3 | mesmer | 53% | 745 |
| #4 | Rambo | 48% | 345 |
| #5 | ZyLeX | 45% | 286 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | mesmer | 53% | 745 |
| #4 | Rambo | 48% | 345 |
| #5 | ZyLeX | 45% | 286 |
| #6 | DommyBoBomby | 42% | 57 |
| #7 | Jones | 40% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mesmer | 22 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | x10 | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Rambo | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | ZyLeX | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | notenti | 4 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mesmer | 4355 | 0.29 | 132 min |
| #2 | x10 | 675 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #3 | Rambo | 380 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #4 | ZyLeX | 177 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #5 | DommyBoBomby | 96 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mesmer | +5.57 | 92 | 78 |
| #2 | x10 | +1.76 | 88 | 65 |
| #3 | Drako | +0.38 | 81 | 48 |
| #4 | notenti | -2.21 | 63 | 42 |
| #5 | Rambo | -3.14 | 58 | 52 |





