








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2698 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2930 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2350 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1779 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1864 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $367,660 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | 58% | 95 |
| #4 | SpecAngle | 52% | 156 |
| #5 | KevlarBurns22 | 51% | 118 |
| #6 | Yuuki | 48% | 58 |
| #7 | tanmantall | 44% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpecAngle | 68 | 0.0221 |
| #2 | KevlarBurns22 | 27 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | Yuuki | 9 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | tanmantall | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | 263 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | KevlarBurns22 | 255 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | SpecAngle | 166 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Goobo | 140 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | Yuuki | 132 | 0.13 | 3 min |





