








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1009 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,574 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 828 | 23% |
| Smokes | 809 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 913 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1024 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $452,916 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | 60% | 52 |
| #2 | SpecAngle | 52% | 172 |
| #3 | NaughtyWalrus | 51% | 118 |
| #4 | tanmantall | 47% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | 60% | 52 |
| #2 | SpecAngle | 52% | 172 |
| #3 | NaughtyWalrus | 51% | 118 |
| #4 | tanmantall | 47% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpecAngle | 62 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | NaughtyWalrus | 43 | 0.0184 |
| #3 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | tanmantall | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaughtyWalrus | 445 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | SpecAngle | 194 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | 166 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | tanmantall | 131 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | +8.90 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | NaughtyWalrus | +5.01 | 70 | 65 |
| #3 | SpecAngle | -0.04 | 49 | 35 |
| #4 | tanmantall | -2.43 | 27 | 30 |
| #5 | KevlarBurns22 | -3.03 | 10 | 33 |





