








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1577 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,832 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 797 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1088 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1497 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1450 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $436,203 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goobo | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | 60% | 65 |
| #3 | KevlarBurns22 | 52% | 172 |
| #4 | NaughtyWalrus | 52% | 156 |
| #5 | tanmantall | 46% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goobo | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | 60% | 65 |
| #3 | KevlarBurns22 | 52% | 172 |
| #4 | NaughtyWalrus | 52% | 156 |
| #5 | tanmantall | 46% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaughtyWalrus | 49 | 0.0159 |
| #2 | KevlarBurns22 | 31 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | tanmantall | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaughtyWalrus | 571 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #2 | KevlarBurns22 | 340 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | 183 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | tanmantall | 155 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Goobo | 48 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | +8.86 | 89 | 69 |
| #2 | NaughtyWalrus | +4.78 | 70 | 67 |
| #3 | SpecAngle | -0.67 | 48 | 36 |
| #4 | Goobo | -1.11 | 72 | 64 |
| #5 | tanmantall | -2.41 | 27 | 33 |





