








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Faceit | 145 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3540 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3611 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2851 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3066 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $922,502 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0M3N | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | Scaks | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Yuno | 61% | 36 |
| #4 | Saint | 50% | 103 |
| #5 | Goobo | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Saint | 50% | 103 |
| #5 | Goobo | 49% | 43 |
| #6 | NaughtyWalrus | 48% | 58 |
| #7 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | 47% | 32 |
| #8 | JonwithnoH | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saint | 28 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | NaughtyWalrus | 11 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | JonwithnoH | 8 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Yuno | 7 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | 0M3N | 3 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saint | 382 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | NaughtyWalrus | 222 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | 0M3N | 194 | 0.35 | 5 min |
| #4 | Goobo | 158 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | JonwithnoH | 101 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | +5.16 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | Saint | +3.68 | 87 | 56 |
| #3 | NaughtyWalrus | +2.09 | 68 | 58 |
| #4 | 0M3N | +1.98 | 81 | 60 |
| #5 | JonwithnoH | +1.84 | 94 | 49 |





