








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 363 | 20% |
| Smokes | 835 | 47% |
| HE Grenades | 150 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 431 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $355,499 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | 51% | 45 |
| #2 | KevlarBurns22 | 47% | 112 |
| #3 | SpecAngle | 46% | 134 |
| #4 | NaughtyWalrus | 44% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | 51% | 45 |
| #2 | KevlarBurns22 | 47% | 112 |
| #3 | SpecAngle | 46% | 134 |
| #4 | NaughtyWalrus | 44% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpecAngle | 41 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | NaughtyWalrus | 25 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | KevlarBurns22 | 20 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaughtyWalrus | 321 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | KevlarBurns22 | 160 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | SpecAngle | 148 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | 140 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 〖 Reverie 〗 | +8.79 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | NaughtyWalrus | +4.72 | 69 | 63 |
| #3 | SpecAngle | +0.01 | 47 | 34 |
| #4 | tanmantall | -2.39 | 26 | 33 |
| #5 | KevlarBurns22 | -3.33 | 10 | 31 |





