








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
929 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,134 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1008 | 24% |
| Smokes | 962 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1151 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1013 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $195,975 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jONKKER | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Tapola | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Sukka | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | Nebu | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | coreis | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | WiLzU | 50% | 60 |
| #8 | Gosuedo | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | petsku | 45% | 66 |
| #10 | ulma | 35% | 31 |
| #11 | el Hipsy | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | el Hipsy | 3 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | petsku | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | WiLzU | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Nebu | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Sukka | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WiLzU | 232 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | Nebu | 135 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | petsku | 117 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sukka | 66 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | el Hipsy | 62 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sukka | +2.89 | 78 | 71 |
| #2 | Gosuedo | +1.63 | 62 | 70 |
| #3 | Nebu | +1.36 | 61 | 69 |
| #4 | coreis | +1.03 | 58 | 72 |
| #5 | jSu | +0.90 | 68 | 69 |





