








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 371 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2230 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2290 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1635 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1922 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $661,547 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jONKKER | 61% | 41 |
| #2 | Sukka | 59% | 104 |
| #3 | Nebu | 58% | 128 |
| #4 | killabee | 54% | 57 |
| #5 | petsku | 53% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | petsku | 53% | 118 |
| #6 | jSu | 50% | 60 |
| #7 | Gosuedo | 38% | 13 |
| #8 | ulma | 36% | 39 |
| #9 | el Hipsy | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | petsku | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | el Hipsy | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Nebu | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | jSu | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | killabee | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nebu | 343 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Sukka | 277 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | petsku | 222 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | jSu | 191 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | jONKKER | 191 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sukka | +2.70 | 84 | 70 |
| #2 | Nebu | +1.43 | 62 | 64 |
| #3 | Gosuedo | +1.27 | 63 | 66 |
| #4 | jSu | +0.74 | 64 | 68 |
| #5 | jONKKER | +0.67 | 70 | 73 |





