








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 273 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2598 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,523 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1961 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3429 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2329 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2804 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,802,789 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matty | 54% | 240 |
| #2 | bENNY7 | 52% | 425 |
| #3 | Briggley | 52% | 449 |
| #4 | KhalteN | 51% | 345 |
| #5 | DutchMonkey | 50% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KhalteN | 51% | 345 |
| #5 | DutchMonkey | 50% | 125 |
| #6 | VastoLorde | 50% | 34 |
| #7 | xDanko | 48% | 46 |
| #8 | Weenus Lover | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KhalteN | 17 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | bENNY7 | 16 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | DutchMonkey | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Matty | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Briggley | 6 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Briggley | 1536 | 0.16 | 44 min |
| #2 | KhalteN | 1329 | 0.18 | 38 min |
| #3 | bENNY7 | 983 | 0.11 | 25 min |
| #4 | Matty | 558 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #5 | DutchMonkey | 223 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matty | +3.01 | 76 | 76 |
| #2 | bENNY7 | +2.16 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | xDanko | +1.31 | 82 | 48 |
| #4 | KhalteN | +0.81 | 71 | 71 |
| #5 | Briggley | -0.32 | 68 | 74 |





