








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 483 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 84 matches | ||
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5953 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6156 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7710 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6381 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $866,795 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jamesta | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | joe_dB | 59% | 128 |
| #3 | bENNY7 | 57% | 276 |
| #4 | Briggley | 56% | 285 |
| #5 | KhalteN | 55% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe_dB | 21 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Weenus Lover | 17 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | bENNY7 | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | KhalteN | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Advoc8 | 7 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Briggley | 906 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #2 | KhalteN | 802 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #3 | bENNY7 | 626 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #4 | Weenus Lover | 437 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | joe_dB | 299 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matty | +3.44 | 77 | 74 |
| #2 | masE | +3.01 | 78 | 63 |
| #3 | bENNY7 | +2.16 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | jamesta | +1.64 | 87 | 56 |
| #5 | joe_dB | +0.97 | 71 | 69 |





