








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 540 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Faceit | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4893 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6101 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4879 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4917 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3320 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,201,787 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 615 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matty | 55% | 217 |
| #2 | bENNY7 | 53% | 436 |
| #3 | DutchMonkey | 53% | 138 |
| #4 | VastoLorde | 53% | 38 |
| #5 | Briggley | 52% | 396 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DutchMonkey | 53% | 138 |
| #4 | VastoLorde | 53% | 38 |
| #5 | Briggley | 52% | 396 |
| #6 | Advoc8 | 51% | 345 |
| #7 | xDanko | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bENNY7 | 27 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Matty | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | DutchMonkey | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Advoc8 | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Briggley | 4 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Briggley | 1415 | 0.17 | 41 min |
| #2 | bENNY7 | 1026 | 0.11 | 25 min |
| #3 | Matty | 494 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | Advoc8 | 387 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #5 | DutchMonkey | 266 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matty | +3.05 | 75 | 75 |
| #2 | bENNY7 | +2.21 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | KhalteN | +0.74 | 71 | 71 |
| #4 | xDanko | +0.29 | 77 | 53 |
| #5 | Briggley | -0.44 | 67 | 74 |





