








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 583 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2284 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,088 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2576 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2481 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3354 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2677 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $670,287 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paska | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Franklin | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | ;kaazaa | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | GANTdog | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | taNgE-.- | 52% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | MAR | 46% | 35 |
| #11 | olli | 45% | 42 |
| #12 | Samppa | 38% | 37 |
| #13 | jupe | 36% | 22 |
| #14 | frd | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | taNgE-.- | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | e2 | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | jACSU. | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | ;kaazaa | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | GANTdog | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | taNgE-.- | 260 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | e2 | 198 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | MAR | 117 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | ;kaazaa | 109 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #5 | olli | 80 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ;kaazaa | +3.99 | 57 | 86 |
| #2 | taNgE-.- | +2.54 | 82 | 75 |
| #3 | frd | +2.13 | 81 | 48 |
| #4 | e2 | +2.12 | 59 | 69 |
| #5 | DubbaDuulix★ | +1.30 | 77 | 67 |





