








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 493 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 847 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5796 | 21% |
| Smokes | 7166 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8890 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 5609 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,394,499 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | used to be pretty good_ | 50% | 437 |
| #2 | ❥ Molly | 49% | 49 |
| #3 | Tristay!^^ | 49% | 201 |
| #4 | nowoit | 48% | 122 |
| #5 | Lane | Klappar Skinkor | 47% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JC | 20 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | nibk | 16 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | used to be pretty good_ | 16 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Kriggy | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Tristay!^^ | 5 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JC | 1476 | 0.10 | 43 min |
| #2 | used to be pretty good_ | 1384 | 0.15 | 40 min |
| #3 | nibk | 1170 | 0.08 | 36 min |
| #4 | Tristay!^^ | 303 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | Lane | Klappar Skinkor | 271 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nowoit | +3.21 | 69 | 60 |
| #2 | nibk | +3.15 | 67 | 65 |
| #3 | Urban | +2.89 | 55 | 70 |
| #4 | Grumpy Kiwi | +1.38 | 60 | 54 |
| #5 | Tristay!^^ | +1.35 | 69 | 65 |





